Left handed is bad

July 3, 2005

Most people are obviously right handed. This is easy to prove. Just round up 100 random people (or randomly round up 100 people; the people themselves do not necessarily have to be random), and count how many are right handed and how many claim to be left handed. You will find that about 90% are right handed and only 10% claim to be left handed. Now this proves that God meant humans to be right handed. The 10% are freaks. Actually, they are not left handed at all, but are really right handed folk who have gone bad in some way. Some chose to become left handed; some were perverted in childhood (probably by their parents). Even though it is clear that God does not approve of left handedness, we must remember to love the sinner but hate the sin. Love the poor misguided idiots enough to remind them always that they are freaks and have no place on God’s green earth. If you just let them go on thinking it is OK to be left handed, you really hate them. That is what misguided liberals do. They let left handed people think that they are acceptable. They cater to them, by making left handed scissors. This is an abomination!

You want further proof that lefties are wrong? Consider the facts. (reliable website proof) Lefties are more likely to have accidents; more likely to lose a finger to heavy machinery (count those fingers!); more likely to get sick because their immune systems are perverted and do not work so well; more likely to have allergies because their immune systems are perverted and overcompensate; more likely to wet their beds (parents, watch your children!) (and check out that man ahead of you in line buying Depends® ; more likely to be depressed. Most Muppets® are left handed (check it out). If that doesn’t prove something is wrong with it, I don’t know what does. All of this proves that it is a perversion.

Me? I’m right handed, thank God. Right handed and gay.

One Response to “Left handed is bad”

  1. The Poor Blogger Says:

    Well written! By the way, you never told me you had another blog (on Lulu) or what you meant by my lack of devotion for the flag having something to do with a skewed incarnational theology. And while I’m at it, what are your thoughts on impanation/consubstantiation vs. transubstantiation?


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